I'm trying to hang in there, where ever there may be.....
Reading thru others blogs and seeing that IF doesn't really "go away" even with a pregnancy. Should have known that even carrying all the way to holding that baby in my arms wouldn't be easy. I have a feeling I would always be worrying-as I am now, is today the day AF is coming, "oh, what was that twitch?" gas, or ovulating... oh well
Feeling like hanging on to this dream is harder than what I want to do, do I have too..... I don't have any other dreams, always just wanted to grow up so I could be a mom.
Can I really keep busy enough to let it out of my mind? It hasn't worked so far, I've only gotten older, fatter, and less able to cope with everyday "little" things.
How long can my husband deal with a wife that can't be happy? How long does he want to? When will it be too much to handle anymore?
Why do I keep asking questions that I know will not be answered? How do I dig myself out of this hole? Do I want to? Can I keep surviving this? Can't I just stay down? It takes SO much work to keep getting back up-knowing you're going to be knocked down in another 4 weeks. Why me? *sigh* I guess why not me would work as well, can someone really deserve this? Would anyone want to go thru IF? What will make this not hurt so much? Why do I feel like a failure? Haven't I accomplished many things to be proud of? Why does having a baby define who I am? Or, what I've done with my life? I know I could go on, and on, guess it's just a good day to go get back into bed........
